Ode to the Couches.
By: Claire

This past weekend, Jack and Mindy brought us some beautiful new/old couches and I am so happy not to have to sit on our old couch that I have decided to write a haiku in honor of the old one and an Ode to the new!


The Old Couch: A Haiku

Banished to Jim's room
Infused with the smell of dog
Die evil couch, die

Ode to the New Couches!

Joy and rapture! Fluffy and white, they are longer than I am! Oh new/old couches, we welcome you with open arms and much celebration! Never will we lie in cramped and painful positions to watch a movie or throw the back pillows over your edge so that there is enough room for us to sit. Never will we wrinkle our noses at the smell of you or fight to keep your slipcovers on because the zipper is broken. You don't have a zipper to break!!!!!! Never again will we opt for the cold hard floor or worry that our friends might catch a strange odor emenating from within...Oh new couches, you seriously rock.

The new couches stink

By Buster

Joy and raputure? What is this nonsense? First I have to wear the hotdog costume and now I'm not allowed to sleep on the couch anymore? What gives, people? My world is crumbling to pieces. Everytime I even go near the couches, someone screams at me to get off the couches. I'm not on the stupid couches, ok? I know I like to pretend like I can't understand anything, but it's only an act. I get it about the couches. But what is truly an injustice is that the cats get to walk all over the couches and sleep on them as much as they want. I'm going to stage a protest and throw up on those couches, the first chance I get.

And by the way, I don't smell.

A few pictures of the 80's Icons

The 80's Icon Party--Buster's view.

Well, folks, despite my best efforts, I was forced, once again, to wear the dreaded hotdog costume. I thought that since Halloween was behind us, it would be hard for my parents to come up with a good reason to dress me in that thing, but apparently, they felt that a hotdog would fit in perfectly at an 80's icon party, so, with the help of my Aunt Kate (betrayed!!), I was adorned. And I heard someone say that next year maybe I could be a taco. We'll see about that.

My parents had a party last night--a ridiculous affair, during which they and all of their friends dressed up as 80's icons and proceeded to celebrate their childhood. In attendence were Strawberry Shortcake (my mom), Crockett from Miami Vice (my dad), She-Ra Princess of Power (My Aunt Kate...she was SEXY!), Richard Simmons (played very convincingly by Andy. You should have seen him high kick! From a dog's point of view, it was spectacular), Mary Lou Rettin and her coach Bela Whateverhisnameis, Slash, Prince, Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man, Daisy Duke, Magnum PI, and the next door neighbor, who came as herself. At first all the people acted kind of normal, despite the fact that they were all standing around looking completely ridiculous, but as they drank the sangria my Dad made, chaos ensued. Suddenly everyone was dancing...and I don't mean in a good way. They were hopping around, doing robot moves, and someone stirred the soup. They picked each other up and swung each other around. My mom kept showing her bloomers and my Dad did the splits in the middle of the dance floor and actually split his pants. Fortunately for all of us--especially those of us who see things at a lower level--he was wearing underwear that kept everything under control.

During the dance chaos, I took the opportunity to steal some food off of the dining room table and almost got away with it, except that I accidentally knocked the platter off the table...it's hard to steal food in a hotdog costume. I had better luck with the trashcan and today, when my parents were out, I went through all of the recycling and got beer and wine all over the dining room floor. That'll teach them to dress me like a hotdog again!

Anyway, the one good thing that comes out of wearing a hotdog suit, is that a lot of the people gave me treats because I looked so "cute." The cats didn't get any attention and my Aunt Kate took me for a stroll through the neighborhood while she was wearing her She-Ra costume (cape and all), so I didn't feel like I stood out that much. I mean, who would YOU think was a freak? A woman in a superhero costume the week after Halloween or a cute, innocent, harassed dog? I think that's a no brainer.