Thursday, October 13, 2005


Umm...ok. You should all look forward to some extremely humiliating pictures of Jim in the near future. Check back at the end of November, after I've had some time to riffle through the hundreds of Jim photos from high school that I have stashed in my bedroom in Tallulah.

One thing that Jim forgot to point out is that he, too, is in the prom picture (re:primary colors, airplane earrings). For the record, Jim was wearing a paisley shirt and had one of the most beautiful seniors as his date (I guess she could see past the shirt). I also was with a senior, who I wasn't really that interested in, but the thrill of going to the Junior/Senior prom when I was only a Sophomore, was worth it...and the guy was really nice. Anyway, at that point, Jim and I didn't know each other. I knew who he was because he was the object of all of the Sophomore girls' affections and was in with the "cool" crowd, but I never knew that the guy my sister and I had dubbed "Highwaters" (he rolled his pants up to mid-calf...some weird Arizona fashion, I guess) and who drove the pumpkin orange Saab knew who I was. I can't remember the details of the actual prom, but one thing stands out very clearly in my mind from the prom after party. I was off in a corner avoiding my date and suddenly Highwaters appeared and said, "Wouldn't it be cool if we could do some tequila shots right now?" I think I just looked at him. I probably didn't even know what tequila was at that point in my life. I think I remember thinking, "what a dork."

A couple of months passed and I was "dating" (playing pinball, not holding hands and not kissing) a guy my mother adored because he was handsome and a merit scholar. I thought he was boring, but in a cool way and as I was meandering my way through getting out of that relationship, I received an unexpect call. It was "Jim." At first I was confused. Who is Jim? Wait Jim Highwaters??! And why was Jim Highwaters calling me? He wanted to know if I was going to So and So's party tonight and if I wanted some crawfish. My mom freaked out because she was in love with the handsome merit scholar and thought that I, at fifteen, was making a horrible mistake by ditching him to hang out with some guy in the 11th grade, but I was adventurous and just discovering my manipulative woman side, so I went to the party with one guy and completely ignored him while I ate crawfish and played asshole with Jim Highwaters.

So that's how it all began. Eventually Jim and I went to the movies (Fried Green Tomatos) and stuck gummy bears all over the car, stop signs, and movie chairs. Then we climbed some trees in the pecan grove....and then my Dad came outside in his bathrobe and glasses and Jim took off so fast I figured I would never see him again. My dad has that effect on new boyfriends.

Fortunately, he came back...and he's never been able to get over those airplane earrings.

I'm still going to post some EVIL pictures of you, Jim Avant, so don't think you're off the hook.
As promised, here are some pictures of my one and only wife back in the '90s. Can you find her? Here's a hint: She's wearing a primary yellow, blue, green, red and white shirt with....and this is the best part...WWII airplane earings. I think they're P-38s.

What can I say, she was ahead of her times.



Thus ends the cruel and unusual pictures of Claire. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before she posts the one of me wearing my Depeche Mode t-shirt and Flock of Seagulls haircut.
Bring it on.
Since I can't write as well as my wife, and I never ever will, I have elected to post pictures in the place of words. Here is a collection of random images taken over the years. And yes, several of these are revenge photos for the "cactus picture" that Claire promised she would never show to anyone. Enjoy.

Oh my, what have we here...could it be Claire in the 10th Grade? Why, yes it is!! Take note of the 4" diameter glasses (it should be noted that my glasses were approximately 2x the diamter of Claire's when this picture was taken)



Please note the red sleaves, polka-dot skirt and sailor-like collar. Stylish, indeed. (it should be said that this was about the time I fell head over heals for Claire and, yes, fashion had something to do with it.)
















Apparently, those are all the pictures I'm allowed to post in this blog. Must be a size limit or something. Anyway, my next post will be of normal photos of Claire during the '90s. Well, at least they were normal back then.....