Ode to the Couches.
By: Claire

This past weekend, Jack and Mindy brought us some beautiful new/old couches and I am so happy not to have to sit on our old couch that I have decided to write a haiku in honor of the old one and an Ode to the new!


The Old Couch: A Haiku

Banished to Jim's room
Infused with the smell of dog
Die evil couch, die

Ode to the New Couches!

Joy and rapture! Fluffy and white, they are longer than I am! Oh new/old couches, we welcome you with open arms and much celebration! Never will we lie in cramped and painful positions to watch a movie or throw the back pillows over your edge so that there is enough room for us to sit. Never will we wrinkle our noses at the smell of you or fight to keep your slipcovers on because the zipper is broken. You don't have a zipper to break!!!!!! Never again will we opt for the cold hard floor or worry that our friends might catch a strange odor emenating from within...Oh new couches, you seriously rock.

The new couches stink

By Buster

Joy and raputure? What is this nonsense? First I have to wear the hotdog costume and now I'm not allowed to sleep on the couch anymore? What gives, people? My world is crumbling to pieces. Everytime I even go near the couches, someone screams at me to get off the couches. I'm not on the stupid couches, ok? I know I like to pretend like I can't understand anything, but it's only an act. I get it about the couches. But what is truly an injustice is that the cats get to walk all over the couches and sleep on them as much as they want. I'm going to stage a protest and throw up on those couches, the first chance I get.

And by the way, I don't smell.

A few pictures of the 80's Icons

The 80's Icon Party--Buster's view.

Well, folks, despite my best efforts, I was forced, once again, to wear the dreaded hotdog costume. I thought that since Halloween was behind us, it would be hard for my parents to come up with a good reason to dress me in that thing, but apparently, they felt that a hotdog would fit in perfectly at an 80's icon party, so, with the help of my Aunt Kate (betrayed!!), I was adorned. And I heard someone say that next year maybe I could be a taco. We'll see about that.

My parents had a party last night--a ridiculous affair, during which they and all of their friends dressed up as 80's icons and proceeded to celebrate their childhood. In attendence were Strawberry Shortcake (my mom), Crockett from Miami Vice (my dad), She-Ra Princess of Power (My Aunt Kate...she was SEXY!), Richard Simmons (played very convincingly by Andy. You should have seen him high kick! From a dog's point of view, it was spectacular), Mary Lou Rettin and her coach Bela Whateverhisnameis, Slash, Prince, Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man, Daisy Duke, Magnum PI, and the next door neighbor, who came as herself. At first all the people acted kind of normal, despite the fact that they were all standing around looking completely ridiculous, but as they drank the sangria my Dad made, chaos ensued. Suddenly everyone was dancing...and I don't mean in a good way. They were hopping around, doing robot moves, and someone stirred the soup. They picked each other up and swung each other around. My mom kept showing her bloomers and my Dad did the splits in the middle of the dance floor and actually split his pants. Fortunately for all of us--especially those of us who see things at a lower level--he was wearing underwear that kept everything under control.

During the dance chaos, I took the opportunity to steal some food off of the dining room table and almost got away with it, except that I accidentally knocked the platter off the table...it's hard to steal food in a hotdog costume. I had better luck with the trashcan and today, when my parents were out, I went through all of the recycling and got beer and wine all over the dining room floor. That'll teach them to dress me like a hotdog again!

Anyway, the one good thing that comes out of wearing a hotdog suit, is that a lot of the people gave me treats because I looked so "cute." The cats didn't get any attention and my Aunt Kate took me for a stroll through the neighborhood while she was wearing her She-Ra costume (cape and all), so I didn't feel like I stood out that much. I mean, who would YOU think was a freak? A woman in a superhero costume the week after Halloween or a cute, innocent, harassed dog? I think that's a no brainer.

It's a Dog's World--A Commentary on life by Buster

It seems that people find my blogs more interesting than those of my parents, so I am taking over the blog again to appease my fans. Everyone with sense knows that I'm the authority.

This Halloween, I have escaped the ultimate humiliation--the Hotdog Costume. Unfortunately, last year I wasn't so lucky. Also, this Halloween, my parents saw fit that I wear a stupid looking bandana that says "Boo" on it and is covered with white ghosts. Not only did I have to wear that thing in front of all of my cousins at the farm last weekend, but today they put it on me and made me wear it in the hope that someone would see how "cute" I looked. I'm not sure who that someone was--possibly the cats? No one else could possibly have seen me today, because I was locked inside of the house. I don't think they wanted the trick or treaters to see me, since they didn't even buy candy and have been hiding out with the lights out so that no one will think that they are home. So, I don't know what the point of the bandana was, except to exert power over me and humiliate me into submission.

But I will not submit. Last weekend, we went to the farm and I showed everyone who was boss. First, I stopped Moose from humping Libby with my masterful referee skills. Then, while all the people were out at their Pigfest I tore into the trash like a rabid beast, spreading death and destruction throughout the kitchen.

Well, maybe that last part was a little dramatic. I did get some good morsels out of the trash, though...and I did make a mess, but there was no death. Only destruction.

Of course a weekend in Tallulah wouldn't be complete if I didn't rub my butt across my Grandma's rug. And the best part is that before I did that, I scared one of the cats so badly that she lost control of her bladder ON THE SAME RUG.

Well, let's be honest. I didn't scare her...but Libby did. And Libby is a dog, too, so that means that I definitely would have scared her if I had gotten there first.

After rubbing my butt on Grandma's rug, I defeated Moose in a dramatic tug of war, which I celebrated with a victory toss of the victim of Tug of War--a stuffed bird. I tossed it so well that it's eyes popped off and gave me extra things to chew on and destroy. And then, once again, I prevented Moose from humping Libby. If I felt love for anyone besides my pink pig, I, too, would be humping Libby. But, due to some circumstances out of my control, I can only imagine what it would be like to want to hump a female dog.

The best part about the weekend is that even though I was "bad" my grandma still fed me meatloaf and even though I growled at my Shug, she still called me "Sweetie." Now that's love, people. I bet my Grandma would never make me wear a hotdog costume.

The Mexico Saga...continued (resolved???) and what we REALLY think about Travelocity

Oh yeah, the little gnome commercials are SO cute and they make life with Travelocity look cushy and fun and flexible--trips all over the world! It doesn't matter if you miss your flights! Natural disasters?? NO problem with the travel gnome!!

All we have to say to that is it's a bunch of hooey.

After 10-12 phone calls and many hours talking to Travelocity and Sun Country Airlines, we finally got our stupid refund...or we'll get it after 15-30 days. What a nightmare! Jim and I talked to no fewer than 15 different people at Travelocity and not one of them was a native English speaker, so we spent half of the conversations not being able to understand each other. Once we started to make some progress, the Travelocity person would claim that he/she had to speak with someone else and then would come back and retract every positive thing that they had told us. Yesterday, someone told me that if we cancelled our hotel reservation, we would get all but $80 back and then today I was told that we would lose all $320. After I pitched a fit about that and insisted that they call the hotel and see for themselves that it wasn't even open, they agreed that we would get our full refund.

It was the same thing with the airline. Yesterday, Travelocity said the airline had cancelled our ticket, so we would definitely get a full refund. But, unfortunately, they couldn't reach the airline due to long wait periods, so they couldn't confirm. When I got off the phone with Travelocity, I called the airline myself (on hold for 8 minutes) and they said that (insert bitchy voice of your choice here) NO THEY HADN'T CANCELLED OUR RESERVATIONS and that they NEVER give refunds for coach tickets. NEVER EVER EVER....and that it was all Travelocity's fault so we should talk to them.

Apparently overnight the airline decided that since the Cancun airport is closed to all flights but those getting people out of the city, they could, they guess, give us our money back. But we had to deal with Travelocity. An hour and a half later, Travelocity also agreed to give us our money back.

Sheesh. A word of advice to all of you who don't want to spend 12 hours in two days trying to get your money back in the wake of a hurricane. Use Travelocity to find the cheap tickets and the good deals and then book it yourself directly with the airline and hotel...or use a travel agent! They know all of the laws and what the airlines can and can't get away with. If we had done it that way, we could have avoided much confusion and may have gotten all of this figured out with time to plan for changing our destination.

As it is, we are very disappointed that we are going to miss the Katie and John wedding extravaganza in Cabo San Lucas, but we're really glad that they are still getting married this weekend, despite Wilma! We'll be celebrating from afar and we plan to spend the money that we get back on a fun trip out to Seattle to visit them and all of our other "out west" friends. It won't be Mexico, but I don't doubt it will be a lot of fun anyway.

The Mexico Saga...

Our friends Katie and John had their wedding planned in Playa Del Carmen for next weekend. Unfortunately, Hurricane Wilma decided to hang out on top of Playa for a few days, so the wedding has been moved.

Beware to all of you who book your travel on obscure airlines through Travelocity: they are liars and will try to tell you that you can't get a full refund, despite the bold print on their confirmation to you that states otherwise. At the moment, we are in the throes of trying to get our full refund and re-book our travels to Cabo San Lucas (or somewhere around there). Jim is going to put a full court press on Travelocity tomorrow...stay tuned for the gorey details.

Next blog: To Mexico or Not to Mexico?

Yesterday was my birthday!!!! I entered the last year of my 20's with a romantic get away, planned by Jim.

I have to say that turning 29 hasn't been traumatic for me at all. Yes, I have had the usual fleeting thoughts about sagging body parts and aching limbs, but, in reality, I feel better now than I did when I was in my early 20's. It has a lot to do with not living in New Orleans anymore...

Anyway, we had a great birthday celebration in Dallas, which is cosmopolitan and more happening than Fort Worth (it has good restaurants and funky bars, for example). Jim took me to a nice dinner and then to the symphony and we stayed the night at the Magnolia Hotel. Besides the luxury of not having two cats walking on us and having a bathtub that didn't require that we sit in it with our knees around our ears, the best part about the hotel room was the window shades. They had DOUBLE shades and the second layer blocked out the light entirely. I was in an insomniac's heaven.

Happy birthday to me!! One more year until I get to plan my 30th!