It's a Dog's World--A Commentary on life by Buster

It seems that people find my blogs more interesting than those of my parents, so I am taking over the blog again to appease my fans. Everyone with sense knows that I'm the authority.

This Halloween, I have escaped the ultimate humiliation--the Hotdog Costume. Unfortunately, last year I wasn't so lucky. Also, this Halloween, my parents saw fit that I wear a stupid looking bandana that says "Boo" on it and is covered with white ghosts. Not only did I have to wear that thing in front of all of my cousins at the farm last weekend, but today they put it on me and made me wear it in the hope that someone would see how "cute" I looked. I'm not sure who that someone was--possibly the cats? No one else could possibly have seen me today, because I was locked inside of the house. I don't think they wanted the trick or treaters to see me, since they didn't even buy candy and have been hiding out with the lights out so that no one will think that they are home. So, I don't know what the point of the bandana was, except to exert power over me and humiliate me into submission.

But I will not submit. Last weekend, we went to the farm and I showed everyone who was boss. First, I stopped Moose from humping Libby with my masterful referee skills. Then, while all the people were out at their Pigfest I tore into the trash like a rabid beast, spreading death and destruction throughout the kitchen.

Well, maybe that last part was a little dramatic. I did get some good morsels out of the trash, though...and I did make a mess, but there was no death. Only destruction.

Of course a weekend in Tallulah wouldn't be complete if I didn't rub my butt across my Grandma's rug. And the best part is that before I did that, I scared one of the cats so badly that she lost control of her bladder ON THE SAME RUG.

Well, let's be honest. I didn't scare her...but Libby did. And Libby is a dog, too, so that means that I definitely would have scared her if I had gotten there first.

After rubbing my butt on Grandma's rug, I defeated Moose in a dramatic tug of war, which I celebrated with a victory toss of the victim of Tug of War--a stuffed bird. I tossed it so well that it's eyes popped off and gave me extra things to chew on and destroy. And then, once again, I prevented Moose from humping Libby. If I felt love for anyone besides my pink pig, I, too, would be humping Libby. But, due to some circumstances out of my control, I can only imagine what it would be like to want to hump a female dog.

The best part about the weekend is that even though I was "bad" my grandma still fed me meatloaf and even though I growled at my Shug, she still called me "Sweetie." Now that's love, people. I bet my Grandma would never make me wear a hotdog costume.